Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Working Together As 2


     This book review is on The Power of 2 by Rodd Wagner and Gale Muller. The topics covered are Complementary Strengths, Common Mission, Fairness, Trust, Acceptance, Forgiveness, Communicating, and Unselfishness.  This book was written with more of a researcher tone.  There were a lot of references to research studies and shared experiences. The first way to come together is to collaborate. Isolation is not good. Having just one strong partnership increases your overall well-being.  Throughout life, there is the opportunity to build hundreds of partnerships.

     Having complementary strengths complementing each other. Appreciating that someone can do better than what you can do. What you bring to the partnership and what together your partnership creates. What usually happens with partners is one sees potential and the other sees risk. One partner has ideas and the other partner puts them in production.  Another example is one is good with people and one is good with technology. In strong partnerships, it is we and us. With great partners they know where they are weak. Your strengths are precisely to help someone else's needs. 

     Having a common mission together. An example was a test that was given and it was called a "Shared Mental Model" of challenge.  How they worked at completing the mission, how well they cooperated. How they assumed separate roles. How much they liked the activity and intensity of "team spirit".  To be "in sync", to be focused through the missions. A common goal, purpose, and mission in life. Find out what is meaningful to each counterpart. Lay a separate foundation for each other in the mission and agree on the objective. 

      Use fairness when working together. To share the workload fairly. To not have to keep track of what the other person is doing. That they will do what they say they will do. The person is not constantly looking for credit. To look at each other as equals, not better than the other. I enjoyed the example of using a coin to find a solution. I remember someone flipping a coin with me and I was thinking "oh yeah." Now I have started doing it with my kids. Having a fairness alliance. 

      Trust is huge in a partnership. There was an example of how well police have to trust each other as partners. For a great partnership, you have to trust each other as partners. You can trust that the other person is going to do what they said they were going to do. Telling others how good you are. Having trust that two people can concentrate on separate responsibilities. Having confidence that the other person is going to come through. 

      Acceptance is appreciating the person for who they are.  The partnership is so uncomfortable that your first reaction is to deny it. Agreeing on complementary strengths. Focus on strengths and not weaknesses.  In partnership, we accept each other and don't try to change each other. Being understanding when one of us makes a mistake. Every collaboration with two imperfect creatures. You have to decide what personality quirks you personally cannot accept and you can do this by making a list of what you cannot accept.  Having active acceptance high levels of happiness and a sense of control.  In the best collaborations, partners begin to appreciate what they once found aggravating. 

     Forgiveness allows things to go well.  Partners change goals to match each other's objectives.  They strive to be fair with each other.  When you violate each other's trust, you have to be able to forgive each other.  To have forgiveness is to apologize.  Talk about good intentions.  Have a peace offering. To demonstrate more reliability to build trust.  Find a middle ground.  To find a positive in the past problem. From the experience, you became a stronger wiser person. To become better at communicating with increased confidence, learning forgiveness, strengthening their relationship.  It takes a rare level of maturity and self-awareness to let the trespass pass.

      Increase in Communicating.  Every time counterparts talk their relationship changes.  What goes beneath the surface is more important than what is said. In good partnerships, they rarely misunderstand each other. They are good listeners to each other. They show appreciation for what others do.  The most successful collaborators spend enough time communicating what the other is thinking. They encourage others along the way. Working together as a joint project. Communication channels should be open. Have a ground to share new ideas. You can mentally put yourself in the other person's shoes. 

      To be unselfish.  There are sacrifices that some partners make for each other that are unbelievable. Having the same satisfaction seeing the other succeed as one's own success. That the partner will risk a lot for one another.  Thinking about what my counterpart is getting out of this.  Some of the greatest joys come out of collaboration. Stay on a common ground for a shared mission.  Having great self-control and forgiveness.  Focus more on what you do for the partnership.  Be slower to anger and quicker to forgive.